Somewhere in between

May I just say that, being between decisions is really hard.

It is not confusion its more of a decision that requires time and people (either lifting you or pulling you down) plus internal and external factors that makes it hard because letting time tell me the answer while at a "Carpe Diem" stance requires a lot of TRUST.

With work.

Finally I got to decide where I will spend the next 2 years, in Events, again. Still waiting for the medical exams to finally identify me as a suitable applicant for the position. Will just wait for 2 days. anticipating the event. Well whatever happens I am sure that it is for a reason because if I'm not qualified, I will pursue medicine quite earlier than I planned it to materialize.

With a relationship.

People are showing up and much as I want to hasten the process for me and them, I would love to just sit back, do my thing, be a friend to that tall guy and all his friends and see what happens. I know I am feeling something I'm not sure what it is but I will let time and I guess clarity to guide through this.

With friends and family.

It's such a blast. This part maybe one of the things that are working for me though at times it gets tough, I still manage to handle things with grace and the Ms. Universe composure.

With God.

Being in Integrity to my words are important for me as of the moment, so when I say that I want to open all my chakras from sexuality to spirituality, I will. Maybe it's the answer to what some Wicked witch of the north was asking, why is the wizard's life working while being in touch with his sexuality, the answer is, for me, WILL and INTEGRITY to one's word. The human will to be whole.

"I wish to hasten but time slows it. I want it to last but time robs it from me. But all the time, time was constant, it was just me and my emotions wanting, seeking. I wish to wait for time to give me and trust time to make it last for me."

2:13 am entry

A 2:13 in the morning entry in this blog. For some odd reason, I just wanted to write and blurt out my feelings here...

But I'd rather keep it to myself...

Confusion? Yes...

A conscious stream of thoughts surging while I am playing Vespers by Bong Rosario and Jay Gomez.

All I want is to be all that I can Be as God planned and willed it.

I would like to, FINALLY, realign. I want this to end, I want the suffering to end. It feels like I am pushed in the wall, and usually, when enough is enough, I stand up, pick up the pieces and fight once and for all.

My agony is caused by me, my pain is caused by me therefore any change that will happen has to be caused by me. Change, hopefully, geared towards personal growth, love and faith.

Never mind all the things that I have suffered in the past, I am forgiving myself for everything, specifically every damage I may have done to my self and others. I am reaching out again. I am not holding back anymore. I won't use sleep as a form of escape anymore. I am tired, tired of days that I sit idly at my computer chair and ask myself questions all about what might have beens and the alike.

I am breaking free, I am living and I know with LIVING comes the VULNERABILITY to a higher purpose, to a higher calling.

I want to earn, I want things but I know that ultimately I will surrender everything to God. So why not surrender first everything to Him then get whatever I can through Him.

I am tired of selfish desires that makes me uneasy before I sleep.

I am tired of blaming myself for psat mistakes, petty or huge, I forgive myself.

I am tired, I want to rest.

Rest in the thought of I am safe, loved and is still able to love.

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Thank you to those people who saw me at my highs and lows.

Those who were never afraid to take a chance with me.

Those who are hoping for a brighter future for they saw potential in me.

I will LIVE UP to what is GIVEN to me. I will USE every TALENT given to me.

I will LOVE for real now. I'll fake it until I make it.

Unmasking is a hard thing to do, but it will be a lot easier with a broken ego and the willingness to move forward!

I will let my face shine again, the real me, the genuine, my truth will surface again.

I am a GIFT, a gift of love, compassion and joy!

I am Wesley Pristin.

Ride On!

I love it!! :p


Armand De France feat. Ange - I Say Ride On (DJs From Mars Extended Club Remix) lyrics

For so long I’ve been missing the touch of you honey
For so long I’ve been praying for you
Honestly, I’ve been waiting my time all night long
While you know, you know it’s true

Because of you, what can I do?
This is a heartbreak story of you
You were so fine, the boy I need
Baby you were my beauty king, yeah

Fly on, please don’t let me go, every night long
Don’t want to see other boys in time
Just give me love and just fly on, right on
I said fly on, please don’t let me go, every night long
Don’t want to see other boys in time
Just give me love and just fly on, right on


For so long I’ve been searching for you night and day
For so long and the pleasure has gone
For so long I’ve been thinking of you on my way
I don’t know what’s going on

How do you feel, riding inside?
Causing my mind to feel so bad
Don’t want to lie, I’m so in love
And I just cry, yes I cry for your love

Fly on, please don’t let me go, every night long
Don’t want to see other boys in time
Just give me love and just fly on, right on
I said fly on, please don’t let me go, every night long
Don’t want to see other boys in time
Just give me love and just fly on, right on

And just fly on

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3mTPwhBcIk&feature=PlayList&p=B4994EDD3B8DD51E&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=24