...Natural...

I just love the unstable stability given to me right now.

I love being all out yet taking it slow.

I like telling affirmations and hiding nasty things about me and other people.

I want my fast paced slow poke self when it comes to work.

I like squeezing in 8 hours of sleep in a 24 hour shift at office.

I love being in the middle while pushing limits.

I love looking, staring, turning my back and looking again somewhat feeling that that someone is also looking back.

I love owning my dreams, being in a relationship with the people I love and still being me.

I love music. Pop to reggae to ambient. Went to Xaymaca.

I always ask myself why am I always put in a situation when all things seems worst...

Because I can love and create GREAT things through it.

TT is the next BISIG.

Therefore... I will be here... I will stay... I will learn... I will grow... I will create... I will honor my Creators... and I will love...

I am here. I am staying. I am growing. I am creating. I am honoring my Creators... and I am Love...

O dba?!

Somewhere in between

May I just say that, being between decisions is really hard.

It is not confusion its more of a decision that requires time and people (either lifting you or pulling you down) plus internal and external factors that makes it hard because letting time tell me the answer while at a "Carpe Diem" stance requires a lot of TRUST.

With work.

Finally I got to decide where I will spend the next 2 years, in Events, again. Still waiting for the medical exams to finally identify me as a suitable applicant for the position. Will just wait for 2 days. anticipating the event. Well whatever happens I am sure that it is for a reason because if I'm not qualified, I will pursue medicine quite earlier than I planned it to materialize.

With a relationship.

People are showing up and much as I want to hasten the process for me and them, I would love to just sit back, do my thing, be a friend to that tall guy and all his friends and see what happens. I know I am feeling something I'm not sure what it is but I will let time and I guess clarity to guide through this.

With friends and family.

It's such a blast. This part maybe one of the things that are working for me though at times it gets tough, I still manage to handle things with grace and the Ms. Universe composure.

With God.

Being in Integrity to my words are important for me as of the moment, so when I say that I want to open all my chakras from sexuality to spirituality, I will. Maybe it's the answer to what some Wicked witch of the north was asking, why is the wizard's life working while being in touch with his sexuality, the answer is, for me, WILL and INTEGRITY to one's word. The human will to be whole.

"I wish to hasten but time slows it. I want it to last but time robs it from me. But all the time, time was constant, it was just me and my emotions wanting, seeking. I wish to wait for time to give me and trust time to make it last for me."

2:13 am entry

A 2:13 in the morning entry in this blog. For some odd reason, I just wanted to write and blurt out my feelings here...

But I'd rather keep it to myself...

Confusion? Yes...

A conscious stream of thoughts surging while I am playing Vespers by Bong Rosario and Jay Gomez.

All I want is to be all that I can Be as God planned and willed it.

I would like to, FINALLY, realign. I want this to end, I want the suffering to end. It feels like I am pushed in the wall, and usually, when enough is enough, I stand up, pick up the pieces and fight once and for all.

My agony is caused by me, my pain is caused by me therefore any change that will happen has to be caused by me. Change, hopefully, geared towards personal growth, love and faith.

Never mind all the things that I have suffered in the past, I am forgiving myself for everything, specifically every damage I may have done to my self and others. I am reaching out again. I am not holding back anymore. I won't use sleep as a form of escape anymore. I am tired, tired of days that I sit idly at my computer chair and ask myself questions all about what might have beens and the alike.

I am breaking free, I am living and I know with LIVING comes the VULNERABILITY to a higher purpose, to a higher calling.

I want to earn, I want things but I know that ultimately I will surrender everything to God. So why not surrender first everything to Him then get whatever I can through Him.

I am tired of selfish desires that makes me uneasy before I sleep.

I am tired of blaming myself for psat mistakes, petty or huge, I forgive myself.

I am tired, I want to rest.

Rest in the thought of I am safe, loved and is still able to love.

___________________________________________________________________

Thank you to those people who saw me at my highs and lows.

Those who were never afraid to take a chance with me.

Those who are hoping for a brighter future for they saw potential in me.

I will LIVE UP to what is GIVEN to me. I will USE every TALENT given to me.

I will LOVE for real now. I'll fake it until I make it.

Unmasking is a hard thing to do, but it will be a lot easier with a broken ego and the willingness to move forward!

I will let my face shine again, the real me, the genuine, my truth will surface again.

I am a GIFT, a gift of love, compassion and joy!

I am Wesley Pristin.

Ride On!

I love it!! :p


Armand De France feat. Ange - I Say Ride On (DJs From Mars Extended Club Remix) lyrics

For so long I’ve been missing the touch of you honey
For so long I’ve been praying for you
Honestly, I’ve been waiting my time all night long
While you know, you know it’s true

Because of you, what can I do?
This is a heartbreak story of you
You were so fine, the boy I need
Baby you were my beauty king, yeah

Fly on, please don’t let me go, every night long
Don’t want to see other boys in time
Just give me love and just fly on, right on
I said fly on, please don’t let me go, every night long
Don’t want to see other boys in time
Just give me love and just fly on, right on


For so long I’ve been searching for you night and day
For so long and the pleasure has gone
For so long I’ve been thinking of you on my way
I don’t know what’s going on

How do you feel, riding inside?
Causing my mind to feel so bad
Don’t want to lie, I’m so in love
And I just cry, yes I cry for your love

Fly on, please don’t let me go, every night long
Don’t want to see other boys in time
Just give me love and just fly on, right on
I said fly on, please don’t let me go, every night long
Don’t want to see other boys in time
Just give me love and just fly on, right on

And just fly on

___________________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3mTPwhBcIk&feature=PlayList&p=B4994EDD3B8DD51E&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=24

(Random Ramblings)

First Day Fun/k

My first day as a customer service representative in a call center proved to produce ambivalence in me, I was both having fun and at the same time getting that first day jitters and worrying if I can pass the tests.

"Hello my name is Wesley, can I please have you first and last name?" hahaha! saying this generated a feeling of excitement, as again this is my first, and a feeling of shyness as I judged call center people that they are just there to pass their times and do nothing but to say the spiel. I guess, I can practice compassion even better when I have not only theoretically be in their position but have actually walked using their shoe (am I making sense..? hahaha!)

As I am right now exhausted from the day's training, I would just like to share my experience with a NFF (New Found Friend) named Jessna (I know it's weird, her name that is... It's short for Jesus - her father and Natividad - her mother). We walked from Libis to the fly-over at Tiendesitas.

Wow, tired as I am from the relief operations for the disaster stricken family near Rosario Bridge and Vista Verde, I still managed to walk that far. When your enjoying a new friend's introduction phase, I guess time and tired feet won't really matter.

She asked me so many things and in our conversation I just realized that I have really been not a bum (haay.. an affirmation for myself...) I actually did so many things, I went into events, coaching and nursing in 3 years (2006-09), and during those times that I touched so many people's lives as a giver of entertainment, technical nursing care and of course, love.

I love it.

Now I'm venturing in another endeavor in a call center where, again, I can be of service as I deliver what the client's needs and cater to their grievances.

The whole day actually made me think... Am I being prepared for something bigger? Why a call center?

BUT then again, I TRUST.

I, thank you. :p

DREAlity

It's where dreams meet reality. :p hahaha!

This picture I made (from powerpoint..) has all my dreams, people I admire and want to be like, people I want to meet, my future husband and everything I want to have in this world!

Counterclockwise from:

iMac
Foundation for termially ill kids (Yes, it kinda looks like a church)
Xtrail
Taylor Swift
Laser-etched MacBook
Yuffie Kisaragi
iPhone
Xian Lim
St. Therese

I love it! Hahahaha!

St. Therese Prayer

St. Therese of Lisieux, grant me this foundation that I help all people in need especially those at their young ages have already been sick with terminal diseases.

Grant me strength of character and commitment to my words that I may be able to give justice to what you have instructed me to do.

Grant me responsibility that I may be able to restore back to GOD the glory He deserves as I hastily complete this project of ours.

Grant me, o dear St. Therese, the earthly prerequisites I need to fulfill this dream.

And lastly, the LOVE that I need to move this gargantuan task up and running.

I Love you St. Therese. To God be the glory.

AMEN

God.Love

For some time now I have been pondering on God's Love because of some "critical incident" that happened one time.

It was when I witnessed people discussing, no, debating about to let in or to let go of someone to move forward. Some of the themes of the discussion were (of course, based of on my understanding):

1. Let go of the person for the greater good.
2. Let him in, all or nothing.
3. Survival of the fittest.
4. Waiting in vain, you also have to move forward.
5. One team!
6. The innocent suffering.
7. The innocent still wanting to uphold the rules of "Life".
8. Suffering as catalyst for change

and comments and feedbacks of the sort.

For me:

Ripping out some cliches and quotes I have formulated something very unique, I think. (I partly read the bible so I don't know if I am violating something. Be kind and tell me if there are things that are contradicting some teachings. Thanks!)

All good comes from GOD so I would like to assume that bad things won't come from Him. Instead bad things are results of bad choices from His gift of freedom. Yes, still it came from Him but it is of our control and stewardship how we can use or exercise such Freedom.

In our Bioethics class, I remember something about Growth through suffering. My question is, do I really need to suffer? No but Yes! I don't think I need to suffer poverty, crimes, have a broken family, a disturbing childhood etc and hope that I become resilient after everything. All these bad things are again for me just a result of bad choices. What I am willing to suffer to grow is how I slowly remove my Ego (Etching God Out as a friend would say). I have personally experienced etching out my ego, it was hard and of course, and up until now it hasn't been fully etched out yet. Such suffering from ego separaton is beneficial for me for, it is this ego that causes me to think about things that at the beginning hmmm... are ok, but if I introspect more and get to the roots, it is just again self-serving and will ignite bigger, I guess more diabolical and self-serving things.

In line is Necessary evil. Again, I don't think God will let us be exposed to negativities that it may create growth. A seed nurtured with hatred and shame will not grow out to be something nice but a seed loved and led the right way will turn to be one of the most beautiful of flowers.

God is the Creator. For me, God is just so creative with His love that wherever we may choose to go, there is still a solution for us to still choose Him. A person who fell in a well as an example. People will of course try to get him and bring him up, as he refuses, the people said to themselves, this one person is limiting our own growth, while this is true, the question of, What would Love > God > Creator > Creative-in-the-creation-of-the-universe-in-all-its-glory do? I know that He would have thought of throwing a rope, giving the man a choice to go up or not... Loving by going the extra mile and always giving chances, providing us choices...

Letting go and letting God. It is such a powerful statement for me because it gives me more freedom actually to let God other than thinking of things, analyzing, sleepless nights, etc. If He wills it then I hope it maybe done on me, I will not resist the signs of times, because such resistance will just cause me pain.

Love and Intimacy. For so long now, I have been praying hard for someone to come my way and be in a passionate, committed and intimate relationship with me, but I guess, I gave up but I will hope. I gave up praying for it because it was just words and fantasies that made me pray, I gave up on the thought that when I pray, tomorrow some guy will smile at me but nothing happens and will just disappoint me, because its tiresome. But that's exactly what I told Him, "I am tired, please take of it, I know you can, I have faith, I hope and I know you love me meanwhile I'll just Do whatever I am called to and can do each day as if it were my last until some day that You will just surprise me! Ha ha ha! I love surprises (and a thought of, can he be like... naaaaaaaah! just Trust!)"

BeCause. Be the Cause. Your doing everything in this world to be the cause of whatever it is you want to create as a being of cause and to be one with the ultimate Cause (of life, love and light).

God's Love. It's boundless. God never gives up not until you gave up on yourself. Hell is choice I guess until death. People who have lived sinful lives but is penitent at judgment will always, I think, be welcome in Heaven.

All these holds true for me as of the moment, and this truth is based on my experiences as a human and a being... if this is not parallel to my Creator's wishes, I know that He will always win me back no matter what.

Heard it from, searched it in, found one and copied it... :p Taking care of the Liver

Lungs & big intestines share the system, if one or the other is infected or sick, the other will also be sick. When the Liver is in pain, there is not much signs or symptoms to be detected. Before many cancers happen, usually the Liver will be the first to get sick. Liver filters out the poisons and attacks all other viruses in the body. 99% Chinese have weak livers as they eat a lot of meat, and high fat foods.

The Liver's repair time is effective from 11pm - 3am. Therefore, sleeping late after 11pm & having late night supper 2 hours before sleep, especially high cholesterol and high fat foods weakens the Liver, as it does not have sufficient time to rest and regenerate. E ven when one sleeps in later in the morning to replace loss sleep will not help.

If you get very hungry just before bedtime, eat some fruits & vegetables which is easy to digest. Meat takes about 4 hours to digest before it goes into the intestines. Meat cooked in oil takes about 12 hours before going into the intestines. This will provoke the Liver & the digestive tract to overwork in filtering the toxins, thus you will tend to feel very tired when you wake up in the morning. Oil is the main culprit that will weaken the functions of the Liver and damage it. Medication cannot cure Liver problem and it will damage it even further.

Cold-pressed Olive oil, cucumber, raw chili, garlic, onion, little bamboo, salt/sea-salt, radish, pumpkin and small fish are good for the body. Sesame oil is ok. Food-preservatives, Food colourings, Bee Hoon is processed with Aluminium (causes Dementia), Bleach, syrup, Pesticides are bad for Liver health. Wrong medication can shrink and damage the Liver badly. Radiation from microwave oven destroys all nutrients in the food. Western medication is bad for the Liver. Chinese medication is bad for kidney. White radish will disable the effects of the Chinese medication.

Sleeping late for children is unhealthy as it weakens memory and intelligence. Best Healthy times to sleep is 9pm, especially so for people who is sick or recovering from it and do not sleep later than 11pm. Lots of rest is good for the Liver to recover. When using eye-cover during bed-time, use only pure-cotton and do not use Rubber, latex material.

A Detoxification Diet helps the Liver & Intestines to recover fast. Natural fresh foods are best for the Liver and overall well being. Do not rely on packed, bottled or canned health foods/vitamins, as they lack a lot of natural and essential vitamins which can only be derived from pure, unprocessed natural foods.

A balance of mental/emotional state of mind is very important to the total well-being. Too much Stress of all kinds, loud noises/music, anger, irritation suppressed for too long, pessimism, depressive moods, no goals in life, feeling life has no value or blaming the world & everyone else for his life will further weaken the body system. When the Liver is unhealthy, the Person usually has a bad temper and gets easily angered or irritated. Giving out gas, perspiration and urine are ways of purging out the toxins from the body.

Do not use too much of air-conditioners as they suppress the body from perspiration. This natural way of purging helps to reduce the load of the Liver. Open the windows for fresh air.